There are a few times in my life when I take a mental photograph of that moment and try to permanently store it in my memory how everything felt. I do this for the purpose of future reference, when I need a little push of nostalgia to both look back and move forward in life. Remember how Charlie said, “And in that moment, I swear we were infinite”? Yeah, I’m describing such moments in life that are too precious to let go. One of these includes my graduation day (which exactly happened one month ago and I still can’t believe it did take place in real life; I was half-asleep the entire time).
I captured it in a memory capsule. When I close my eyes, I remember everything - how the fringes of my dress fell just above my knees, how I liked the smell of hairspray on my curls, how the Sunday afternoon sun rays made the sunflowers dance, how every congratulatory hug from special people could have lasted a second longer, and how I felt both happy and sad, because apart from celebrating a monumental day, I knew it wasn’t going to happen ever again. I remember it all like the back of my hand. It was so dreamy. I wish I could go back in to that day and savor it for just a little longer.
The photo above is just like graduation day. I could stay in that moment, maybe not forever, but perhaps for an indefinite time ‘til my heart is content. The stillness of the ocean, the wind caressing every inch of my sun-kissed skin, the smell and aftertaste of saltwater in my mouth, the texture of sand and dead seaweeds against my indian-crossed legs, the setting sun across the horizon, the conversation of good friends in the background - I could live in that moment and just forget about the world.
These are such moments we need more in our lives, when we feel that life is actually existing, beating, breathing, happening inside of us. These moments make us feel humans.
I’m going to hold on to our line producer’s kind words for as long as I can.
“Being in a movie is like being in a war: when you come back home, it is difficult to tell that story to others.” (Walter Salles on filming On The Road)
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I totally get him. Grueling last days of shooting are coming up this week. I like sharing my kwentos to friends, but I doubt that they entirely get where I’m coming from. When this project is over, I will be a changed woman.
(Day 5) Pack up and payday. We just had to include the green prod box in the photo because it contains our survival tools. So happy to be working with these people!
(Day 3) Nognog award goes to…….
With tita Lui and staff (Day 5)
Thank You for writing it in my story that I would have a photograph like this on April 22. It still is surreal just by looking at it. Is this real life? I think I went through graduation half asleep.
