I really had a difficult time writing this because I don’t know how to. Growing up, I stopped looking at life in terms of the concept of time that is in years because honestly, a new year is just any other day after December 31. It doesn’t magically give anyone’s life a clean slate. The issues we had in the “previous year” are carried over to the next. Given this state of mind, I find it hard to be all extra enthusiastic (a staple for a year-ender life report) because well, I am just not that type. I’m neutral. So anyway, here it goes.

Dear everyone,

This is supposed to be my obligatory year-ender post, that one wherein I write long paragraphs about my ordeals and learnings in the past twelve months and end it in a positive light. But I know that when I do, no one will actually get it. Now one will understand how the past twelve months had been for me. It will be a futile attempt. 

The thing is, it had been a very personal year for me. I mostly fought the dragons by myself  because well, the battles had been against myself. The war is inside of me. I am the walking dead of my own hostilities. I’ve been bruised, beat up and wounded, and maybe it’s safe to say I brought these scars upon myself. 

And it is quite ironic, because in retrospection, this year, the world had seen movement and revolution. People took action to rise above their circumstances. Different nationalities demanded for what was rightfully theirs. And most importantly, the war ended.

While these climactic events were happening, I, on the other side of the world, was letting life pass by one lapse of judgment after another. It is quite sad, but I can laugh about it right now because looking at the bigger picture, there were some good things that came out of this havoc. One, I grew up. Two, I learned an immense amount of things about myself. Three, I re-learned that God is unbelievably graceful and loving to someone like me. And fourth, I grew up.

I guess my time of revolution and movement, of taking action and rising above my circumstances, of claiming the promises that are rightfully mine, of waging and winning the war, will come in a year late.

Maybe that year will have to be 2012.

I trust the good Lord that everything is set in His grand scheme.

And you know what I say about the new year.. it never lacks the element of surprise.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens… a time to tear down and a time to build.” (Ecc 3:1,3)