February 2012
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0251 AM, Brown Couch
I know I should allow myself to feel this way and enjoy these silly moments of meaningless and coincidental encounters, but I can’t. Because I deserve the real thing, not this made up false reality in my head. Circumstance, fate, coincidence, or whatever. Stop taking advantage of my vulnerability. Or maybe I should address myself and slap my face with the truth that it’s only me,...
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January 2012
14 posts
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College feat. Electric Youth / A Real Hero
Back...
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Dear Daisy,
I want you to know that someday, you’re going to look back to these days and remember and cringe how much you dislike the person you had become. What happened to you? You’re a hollow cage of flesh and bones. A broken cistern that could never stay filled. You’re a crooked soul trying to stay up straight with bended, frail limbs. Everything inside you is everything you hate. You...
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0729 PM, Brown couch
He doesn’t know who I am. And he doesn’t give a damn about me. Besides the coincidental jeepney rides and the stolen glances, I don’t know much about him either. But I like him all the more.
And the story plays out the same way it has always been.
Maybe it’s time to change the game once and for all?
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The Paper Kites / Bloom
Can I be close to you?
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Artillery
We were discussing about freedom and imprisonment in our documentary class today. Someone said that being imprisoned doesn’t have to be in the confines of a cell, a mental institution or in a room. Sometimes, imprisonment happens with the self.
And this is true.
I feel like I am always in battle with my self. I always write about this here because it’s a thought that can never escape...
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0346 AM, Cold floor
It’s sad that we meet hundreds of people throughout our lifetime, then life takes its natural course and we eventually forget about these interesting people through passage of time. Some we don’t even get to see in real life ever again. They are reduced to memories, Facebook profiles, phone numbers and faces without names, or the other way around. Can’t we accommodate all of the...
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December 2011
26 posts
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I really had a difficult time writing this because I don’t know how to. Growing up, I stopped looking at life in terms of the concept of time that is in years because honestly, a new year is just any other day after December 31. It doesn’t magically give anyone’s life a clean slate. The issues we had in the “previous year” are carried over to the next. Given this...
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Sarah McLachlan / Fallen
Though I’ve tried,...
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Switchfoot / Another Christmas (Old Borego)
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One The Road: Excerpts 1
“I woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when I didn’t know who I was - I was far away from home, haunted and tired with travel, in a cheap hotel room I’d never seen, hearing the hiss of steam outside, and the creak of the old wood of the hotel, and footsteps upstairs, and all the sad sounds, and I looked at the cracked...
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12 NN, Library
The last time I flew, which was a little over two months ago, the sky was so cloudy. It wasn’t just the usual cloudy day. It was extraordinarily cloudy, like cloudy cloudy if you get what I mean. There was this moment when we practically flew right into this huge mass of white vapor. It so happened that I had a window seat. So to supplement the moment, I stuck my face on the window pane to get a...
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Bob Dylan / The Times They Are A-Changin’
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0120 PM, Empty apartment
This morning, I have just finished reading Perks and I feel awful for everything I wrote in the post script of my previous entry. To everyone who dearly love Charlie, I’m sorry for questioning his emotional outburts when I didn’t even know his entire story gave him every reason to (I was on page 178). I know it’s just a book and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but to me it is....
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Asleep
I’ve been reading Perks in the past five days and I couldn’t get why Charlie liked the song Asleep so much. I thought it was one of the “okay” songs of the Smiths. And it almost always drove me to sleep whenever I listened to it.
Tonight, I finally listened to what Charlie had been hearing with the song.
I was very upset about many things tonight. It was the kind of upset...
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In our barcode media, love is often portrayed as consumption. As consumers in a commercial driven culture we can begin to view other souls as objects, or potential cures for our deepest fears and insecurities. “Perhaps if I found the right lover I would no longer feel this deep existential despair.” But of course no human soul could be the Constant Other, the face that will never go away. Only the...
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One month later
It’s been a month since I turned 20 years old, but I feel like I am still treading on unchartered waters. Every single day, apart from my usual musings on love (or the lack of it), I’ve been thinking about life a lot. It’s an indelible mark my mind wanders to like it’s some sort of hobby or past time.
When I think about life, I mostly picture the future. And I’m scared half of the time whenever I...
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November 2011
20 posts
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Blank
Lately, everything’s been flat and one dimensional. That’s why I haven’t been writing anything much. Nothing spectacular. Nothing grand. Nothing worth a few hundred kilobyte of space in the world wide web. Everyday has been the same.
But that’s okay because life has its own monotonous cycles. What scares me is how I feel.. or the lack of feeling, that is.
I’ve been...
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“There are dreamers and there are realists in this world. You’d think the dreamers would find the dreamers and the realists would find the realists, but more often than not, the opposite is true. You see the dreamers need the realists to keep them from soaring too close to the sun. And the realists? Well, without the dreamers, they might never get off the ground.”
- Cameron,...
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